Like me, Minnie loved hunting artifacts.
This was one of her favorite hobbies.

This photo of Minnie and Al was made on Christmas Day, December 25, 1978.

No person is perfect nor will any of us ever be. No person has ever lived who had no shortcomings. All of us sometimes lack judgement and do things that hurt ourselves and others. Later we regret our actions, or the lack thereof, deeply. We are all human, and all humanity suffers from being imperfect. Many of us rationalize and blame others for our own shortcomings. Others accept the fact of their imperfections and accept the responsibility and blame for our own errors. Regardless, we are blessed with minds and the ability to reason. Most--but not all--of us are often able to consider our actions and learn from our mistakes. And this ability to learn from our mistakes and vow to never repeat them, folks, is the reason for this little story...

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Once I was married to a wonderful, kind, and beautiful woman. Her maiden name was Minnie Lee Bell. After we were married, she took my last name and became Minnie Lee Williams. Minnie and I were married for more than thirty years and, with one BIG exception, we lived a wonderful, peaceful, loving, and happy life. However, there was that one BIG exception...

At the time, Minnie and I were living in Bozeman, Montana. We owned our own home and business outright, and we were making a good living. We had the trappings (stuff) of a successful life, trappings of which many can only dream. Then one day Minnie came to me. "Debo," (my nickname) she said, "I don't want a divorce, but I want us to start living as though we were divorced..." Well... What a strange unexpected request. Many things flashed through my mind. But rather than mull on the myriad possibilities, I just said, "OK."

I was forty five years old at that time. I moved into a rented apartment, got a twenty seven year old girl friend and she moved in with me. Damn, what does a man of my age at that time do with a young girl friend? Imagination, folks, but you won't miss much. Regardless, this situation continued for many months.

Minnie? Well, I never asked or talked to her about it, but I later found what one would expect. Her "friend" later committed suicide. Hanged himself.

Imperfections? Mistakes? In us both? Yes. Of course. Like all of humanity, Minnie and me were only imperfect humans.

A few month later, Minnie came to me and said, "Debo, this is not working out like I thought it would. I want us to get back together." I agreed, parted ways with my girlfriend, let the apartment go, and moved back in with Minnie. (My "girlfriend" has since married, has children of her own, owns her own business, and is, apparently, living a happy successful life herself.)

After we got together again, Minnie was sullen, morose, and seemed to be very unhappy. After a week or so, I asked her what was bothering her. She told me that she could not get the fact that I had been living with another woman off her mind.

"Look, Minnie," I said, "You started this mess. I did nothing that you didn't do. We both made mistakes, we realized out mistakes, corrected them, and learned a great deal from them. It is time now to forgive each other, put this all behind us, and get on with our lives, start back loving one another, and never do anything like this again."

Minnie thought this over, I suppose. She again became the happy contented woman that I originally married. We lived together happily until she died on January 26, 2007. Neither of us ever mentioned this episode to one another again.

Being imperfect humans... Making BIG mistakes... Realizing our imperfections... Making mistakes and imperfections aplenty... Learning from our mistakes... Forgiveness... Living happily together afterwards. We did it all!

However, Minnie has now been dead for 16 years. For many of us, our former loves--like Minnie--were swept away by the tides of time and death and we will forever hold memories of them in our heart. Does this mean that we should never, or will never, love again? For me, at least, the answer is a resounding no. I am now married to a wonderful woman that I dearly love, and I am sure Minnie would approve of her.

Will will she and I have imperfections and make mistakes? Damn right we will--we are only human. Will we live through all of these, learn from our imperfections and mistakes, forgive each other for our shortcomings and continue to live as happily and contentedly as possible? Time will tell...

So, how would YOU have handled such a situation? How will YOU deal with the shortcomings and imperfections of others?

Do your best, folks, to live happily. After all, life comes with a time limit...

RIP, Minnie. I learned a LOT from living with you...

Debo...